A report on how the packing/planning/pre-move mayhem is going. Please note that for those of you who read this blog and don't know me well, this won't mean a lot. However, those of you who DO know me will understand completely.
Tonight I washed kitchen towels, bath towels, rag towels, and socks all in one load.
We have reached the stage where it's general chaos; nothing you need can be found and the house is a labrynth of boxes and furniture with bits of life strewn thoughout. So this is where I find myself at 12:26 am--needing to sleep but knowing it won't come for a while yet, thinking about what this move means to me. I've thought about it a lot and want to talk about it now.
When we first started looking at new houses the idea was but a dream. Truly, we couldn't believe we would ever live in a brand new home. I realized the subltle differences of old versus new as we walked through so many homes. I found myself checking how many plug ins there were in each room. Would we need to use a drop cord to get a lamp by the bed? Where could the TV be so that the cable would reach? What horrors of damp, mildewy, plywood waited under the kitchen sink? Finally it dawned on us that we needn't check those things--new homes have plug ins on every wall-sometimes more than one! There are cable outlets in several locations-in each room! Under the sink is gleaming wood. All the windows work. We would not have to insulate. We were excited at the thought of not having to move in and start fixing things to make the house work for us.
We began to look at the homes in a new light. How would this floorplan work for us? Do we like this size of living room? What about this color of tile? Would we be happy with this lot? What do we actually want? For us, the priorities were having two stories with all the bedrooms near each other; a family friendly kitchen; a great yard with nature nearby; a porch; and some space away from the neighbors. That didn't seem too hard. We knew we'd find a floorplan that worked and stopped worrying about that and started concentrating on the lot and location. When we found this one it was right, and several things indicated that very clearly for us.
During the offer process I began to worry about the financial aspects. We made a budget and it worked. I spent many hours decorating the house and came to believe we needed several pieces of new furniture. How could we live in a brand new house with this couch?? The house itself is so pretty; it wouldn't be right to put all this old stuff into it. All I could think about was what we couldn't do because we didn't have the money to buy all this new stuff I wanted for this new house. I was not getting excited. It was a bit surreal.
Slowly, bit by bit, I began to think differently about what would be our new home. Never before did I think I needed all new drapes, bedding, and furniture; why was this different? Truly, it isn't different. We are blessed to be able to buy a home that will not take all our energy and financial resources in order for it to be comfortable for us. We are blessed to have found a home so close to nature and also so fitting for the way we live. I prayed to be grateful for what we were getting and last week it happened.
On Thursday they were putting up the new fence. The kids and I drove over in the morning to see the progress. I drove over when the babysitter was here in the afternoon. We drove over around five to see the completed fence. We drove over when Matt got home so he could see it. We drove over at 9pm to see it in the dark. Sitting in the driveway in the dark, listening to the crickets chirp and the peepers croak, I was nearly in tears. I had found home again.
Suddenly, we didn't need a new couch, or drapes, or bedding. Sure, it would be fun to have new stuff, and we'll probably get some. The things we need boil down to these few items: more shelves in the pantry, window blinds, grout sealer, and a new vaccum. Those things can be bought easily and will make living there more pleasant.
So tonight I find myself a bit sad about this move and I finally understand why. It isn't because we can't buy all that new stuff and decorate it like a showcase. I feel sad because you all won't be here with us. To drop by on a Saturday afternoon and visit. To come to the ribbon cutting for the kids' new playhouse. To watch as little people get a year older and blow out one more candle on their cake. To see my weedy garden. To gather for Thanksgiving dinner. To help us fill it with memories. That is what will make this house a home for us--filling it up with memories.
Our door will be open--please come and help us.
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