For Dad

Dad asked us what we wanted of Mom's.
All I knew was her gray cardigan. Somehow I have always gotten the gray cardigan--I had one from years ago, too. They just remind me of her, and are comforting to me. I have not been able to even unfold this one, though. It just sits on my dresser and I look at it many times a day. She wore that cardigan everywhere-even with her pajamas! If I put it on, I might never stop crying, so I haven't yet.


I had already thought about Mom's wedding ring set that Dad bought her about 10 years ago when they were in South Dakota and she wore everyday. As Dad, Le-Le and I went through Mom's jewelry together we found her original engagement ring. She never wore it (during my memory time), but had had the diamond put into a ring for Dad many years ago. I saw it and wondered if it was "the thing" I would want.


A back-story: When Matt and I got engaged we didn't get a traditional ring. I loved the one we chose and wore it a long time. Over time, Matt added to my wedding band so that now it is 2 diamond set bands with a solid gold band in the middle and that's what I wear every day. For the last 3 years Matt has been bugging me to pick a solitaire, or even a new set. He really wanted to buy one for me, but I balked. The first 2 years I couldn't find anything I loved enough to spend that kind of money on. I am too practical; that amount of money is ridiculous for a piece of jewelry to wear that isn't even my real wedding ring. This past spring I found "the one" and it was perfect. It was also a lot of money and I decided (to Matt's chagrin) not to buy it since we would be moving and who knew what unforeseen needs that might bring?

All of this came together as I looked at Mom's ring and Dad asked, "Do either of you girls want it?" Le-Le didn't and I thought it might finally be the ring that I loved enough and was "worth it." At first, Dad wanted to pay for the diamond, and felt bad that we would. However, after explaining that if Matt bought the diamond, the ring would have Dad, Mom, and Matt in it--then it would be perfect .

I took it to the jeweler's last weekend and chose an old style diamond to fit the setting. They did a wonderful job on it and I picked it up last Wednesday. I tried to send a photo via cell phone, but wanted to show Dad and Le better photos. Here it is.


And with my band.

The unforeseen complication has been this: whenever I look at it, I can't help but think that I have this ring because Mom is gone.

It is beautiful, and special, and I truly will treasure it as long as I live.

But I wish I could call Mom and tell her about it.