Apparently, I am being refined.....again.

Well. We have a verdict on the hives, and it is not good. I have "sensitivities" to potatoes (including sweet and yams), egg yolks, trans fats, corn syrup, and wheat. Ummmmm...aren't those the 5 food groups for an Iowa girl?

I do not know how to eat anymore, and have had a salad for the last three meals. If I don't get a piece of bread soon I will ---well, I don't know what I'll do. We went to the store tonight and came home with only $16.15 worth of food and me near tears. The tears came later, in my closet, without little ears/eyes around.

I was not prepared for the sadness this has brought. Naturally, I don't like the whole scenario, but I also don't like that the kids feel bad for me and say that over and over. I am sad that when we sit down to a meal, I eat something different than my family (like I could ask the kids to eat VEGETABLES?!?!?). I feel terribly sad that I cannot bake special things anymore and enjoy them with the kids. I don't think I even have the constitution to bake and and not eat. I am pretty much devastated by this turn of events, even though keep telling the kids that "I'm glad we found out why I was sick, and now I can get better."

There is a chance that after I heal my gut, I can eat these things again, but for the next 5 weeks, I am off those foods. And, if I don't lose weight now, then I am forever doomed to being this fat. How could one NOT lose weight if they don't eat wheat and corn syrup and fat? Maybe that will be the upside to this. Whatever. God knows what His reasons are for this and I am having trouble not being very mad at Him. As usual, I must need more refining.

On another front, we are planning to travel to Iowa in November for the girls to receive their First Holy Communion in Creston from Fr. Kenkel. I talked to the DRE there today,and was just irked. She wants us (yes, the girls and Matt and I) to have a retreat before that day. Like I have time to have a retreat after driving 1503 miles to see our family and friends. Sure, we'll take an afternoon out to fill in the blanks on some worksheets and do a craft so that my daughters will understand the meaning of the true presence of Christ. Guess what? If they didn't get it before, the worksheets and craft aren't going to do the job just because the DRE thinks they are meaningful. Oh. Wait. Isn't that one of the reasons we home school? You know, she probably shouldn't mess with me just now.